It is true that Walmart has seen it’s a fair share of people sporting jaw-dropping hairstyles of older women and exposing intergalactic clefts. Those pictures are insanely funny, though.

Walmart generally appeals to a broader class of people, including the lower classes. But not all customers are poor, some just have very poor fashion choices. 

  • JUST EAT IT
Okay, let’s for argument sake just agree we’re all going to get an “eat my ass” tattoo. Why on the shin? Seems like somewhere in the bottom 5 places to put it.
  • SHIPPED MY PANTS
Shit happens. But, if I’m being honest, if it’s gonna happen Walmart seems like a pretty good place to have it happen. Nobody will even look twice when you do a bottomless walk of shame to the pants section.
  • i DID IT ALL FOR THE COOKIE
Real life Cookie Monster running amuck in Wally World. Actually, you know what, I take that back. Cookie Monster wouldn’t even throw that type of temper tantrum. I’m the sorry CM for lumping you in with this jerk.
  • JAMES IS A DICK
I kinda want to know what James did to the window. Maybe that guy is James. If he is James I don’t even need an explanation I’m automatically on the “Fuck you James” bandwagon.
  • POWERFUL POOPER
Heed this man’s warning. With that power mullet, I think we can all assume this man can pack some heat back there.
  • BUILD THE WALL
You’d think if you’re going to spend the time making that shirt you would maybe hire a graphic designer who has been using PhotoShop for more than 15 minutes!.
  • THE BOWL CUT
Hell yes. Go get a nice steel bowl, stick it on your head and bring back the 90’s.
  • THE MOST STUFF
I didn’t need to see the first ever pictures of a black hole, I know what it looks like. I’ve seen masses get sucked down black holes at Walmart for years now. That’s old news.
  • FULL OF YOUR SELFIE
Uhhh, why wait to get home to take that banging lingerie selfie? Get it done at Walmart and you can toss it back on the rack without dropping a dime.
  • FRESH GOAT SMELL
Nothing to see here. Just a goat being super casual about hanging out in a Jeep. Hopefully, his owner is in there buying a shit ton of car air fresheners.
  • CREATIVE FLOW
Woof! I’d say you lost a bet, but I’m not even sure there’s somebody out there mean enough to even dream of this type of punishment.
  • ALWAYS TAILS
Tails from Sonic is all grown up. How adorable.
  • HULKETTE
Bruce Banner’s wife out doing a little shopping today. That’s nice.
  • UNLIKE HIS KIND
Out Law? Get out of here man, Out Laws ain’t waiting in line for mac ‘n cheese. Get out of here.
  • TIMEOUT FOR TOMMY
Yes! Yes! Sign me up for a society accepting putting adults in time-out. I’m all in for that.
  • THE WING KING
Well, obviously I’m not going to condone this type of behavior. But, if you are going to be a giant piece of shit, I’ll give you credit for product placement.
  • THE BEST…AROUND!
If I was going to describe to a sketch artist what I think the World’s Best Farter looks like, I think you would have nailed it to perfection.
  • SQUIRT & SHITNEY
Y’all can’t even fathom the level of love that grandmothers have. You think you know, but you have no idea. Can you imagine loving people so hard you’re willing to embroider a fleece where Bubba is like the 4th worst name and wear it in public? No, your head can’t even imagine that love. You probably stopped reading by now and have spaced off wondering how someone on this Earth has the name Shitney right now. As you should.
  • CLITTY CITY
They got a whole farm?!?! I mean, even with all that porkin’ they probably still hide the g-spot
  • THE SANDWICH ARTIST
Holy shit. I think a company name on your car is ridiculously stupid. But let’s say I’m on bored with it…who the hell is picking Subway? Out of all the brand names out there, you pick Subway. I guess it’s very fitting how it was done. Anything more professional than you sitting on a milk crate outlining it in Sharpie is too good for Subway.
  • MESH MAN
The look on that dude’s face pretty much says it all.
  • LEGS FOR DAYS
Man, I can’t wait until I get older, retire to Florida and toss my give a shits right out the window!
  • DON’T LAUGH
Funny? Yes. Sad that you had to pause a few minutes and think because you can’t be 100% sure it’s just a joke and not for real at Walmart? Also yes.
  • THE MINION MASTER
Pretty sure Gru is a good guy now. You can turn that frown upside down.
  • BAREFOOT BANDITS
Any parent would go barefoot so their kid could have on….dammit! Ain’t nobody got shoes on in this damn scenario! Put something on so every cartwheel in the store isn’t covered in your foot fungus.
  • CHAIN CHAIN CHAIN
Boy is this dude lucky. I was just about to slay him with my sword but alas my plan is foiled again.
  • NOT TODAY
Is there another store in America where pants are as optional as they are at Walmart?
  • LINE ‘EM UP
Lines will be longer than the checkout lines texting in cheap phones at Walmart I’m sure
  • IT’S ALIIIIIVE!
Looks like Frankenstein’s monster got his driver’s license.
  • KARMA CHAMELEON
If you’re gonna carry around a lizard at least get a chameleon so it can be sneaky and go unnoticed by blending in.
  • MY LITTLE PONY
Either some little girl is about to get her birthday wish or this is just an odd dude driving around with a pony. I know where I’ll put my money when I apply for Walmart credit card

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  • LOOP DE LOOP
I have no idea what goes into the styling of women’s hair and I’m kinda happy about it. I don’t know what the end result of this is, but I gotta assume it’s not worth it.
  • HOOP IT UP
Look at you Mr. Tough Guy with your leather jacket & kilt. Bet my daughter could out hula hoop you any day.
  • TITFACE
Sometimes tattoos are awesome & gorgeous. Sometimes it’s a pair of demon tits on your face. Winsome ya lose some.
  • MADE OF MUPPETS
When you’re trying to be the toughest dude on Sesame Street.
  • TAILS, TAILS
There’s not even a male version of Rapunzel I can call you. That should tell you all you need to know. Shit is gross by the way.
  • SWAGGIN’
I truly love picturing the marketing meetings these companies have.
  • A FLOWERY F_CK
Somehow I feel happier about this “fuck off” directed at me. I feel like I should say thank you.
  • BUBBLE YUCK
Only one thing comes to mind…Bubblicious. YUCK!
  • STOCKED UP
I see someone is getting geared up for the 50th anniversary of Woodstock!
  • GOSH!
Probably in there picking up more food for Tina here. That fat lard
  • DOING NOING
It makes my brain hurt so much that it’s actually borderline profound.
  • MINION MADNESS
Super pumped that they casted Flavor Flav in Minions 4.
  • BIA BIA
I’m so bad at seeing red flags that I’m about to ask her out on a date.
  • LOAFING AROUND
I mean, it makes sense. You don’t want to hurt your knees trying to find the perfect loaf of bread. What if you just casually grab a loaf only to find out it’s all smashed? Hate to have that happen to you lady.
  • RESPAWNING POINT
This would be how I would respawn if I were in a video game. Like ahhh f*ck it, might as well get my shopping done while I’m here. You guys save the world.
  • TODAY’S WOMEN
Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to go see my friend Al Bundy over at Gary’s Shoes and Accessories for Today’s Women. He’ll take excellent care of you and tell you exactly what you need to hear.
  • BY THE EGGS
“Listen, pal, Santa shortchanged me this year and I’m not gonna allow that to happen 2 holidays in a row! Got it?”
  • SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG
This is one of those situations where you really want to know what is in the backpack, but deep, deep down you really don’t actually want to find out.
  • G & T
Yeah we all love what we don’t have.
  • POW EMOJI
What the hell is this? Looks like the emoji version of People Of Walmart.
  • SHAME
Remaking the scarlet letter in 2019.
  • JUNK FOOD FMK
Fuck, Marry, Kill.
  • TWO IN ONE
I feel like some sicko kidnapped two different people then sewed them together!
  • LIP BALM LOVERS
I gotta say, these are probably much more interesting shirts when they aren’t together.
  • SHUT IT
I like the idea of wearing this pretty much everywhere I go. Think they make it in a suit for business meetings?
  • SMOKED TURKEY
Pumpkin-spiced baby? Probably more of a smoky taste than I wanted, but ’tis the season.
  • CANDY IS DANDY
Hot take: Candy canes are to Christmas as candy corn is to Halloween. Embrace debate
  • NO GAMES
To quote the wise and poetic Backstreet Boys – “Quit playing games with my heart.” So true. So true
  • DAY OF THE DEAD
Honestly, I have no idea how she was caught shoplifting at Walmart. She literally has a mask on, how did they know it was her?!?!
  • DIGGING DEEP

Walmart business
Trying to find even lower prices?
  • SOCK IT TO ME
Not really sure why you’ve got a sock puppet hanging around with you but it looks gross and I’m not Happy Happy Happy about it.
  • DEEZ NUTS
I guess when rednecks get older those hang a little lower.
  • PREPARING FOR GREATNESS
How I’m spending my day prepping for the onslaught of food and booze that is Thanksgiving Day.
  • HAT TO MATCH
Now I think everyone knows my stance on non-service dogs in Walmart. I’m also not a fan of tiny ass dogs. But there is an exception to every rule and that exception is matching cowboy hats.
  • GOBBLE ‘TIL YOU WOBBLE
Quick preview of my Thanksgiving Day goals.
  • GET NAKED
It takes a lot of balls(not brain) to not only walk naked through Walmart but to do it in the refrigerated section.
  • EAGLE EYE
This seems pretty symbolic of the new 2018 America actually.
  • CLEAR AS CRYSTAL
Anybody trying to call her bluff? Anyone? No? No takers? Yeaaaah I didn’t think so
  • GOOD BOY
Forget revoking a man-card, someone take this little bitch to the pound.
  • UGG LIFE
Fun little PSA ladies: You all look exactly like this as soon as you put on UGG Boots. Sorry to break it to you. This gal is actually a 22-year-old Instagram model.
  • PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT
Ain’t no such thing as a free lunch in life kid, you gotta earn your keep around here. Now push! This is what you get when psychos get married, &have kids.
  • THE PINK MANTHER
This man here basically lives off of ecstasy & roofie-coladas.
  • SITTIN’ SIDEWAYS
People laughed at the Squatty Potty and it has probably made millions. Maybe this dude just invented a better way to shit?!?!
  • GUNS BLAZING
Not looking forward to seeing the status of those pistol fingers when they come out firing.
  • THE STICH BITCH
Not gonna lie, I know exactly who I’d call to handle my upholstery needs now.
  • DOOKIE STAINS
Ok, let’s just say accidents happen. We’ve all been tempted to eat at Golden Corral thanks to Jeff Foxworthy. But why are you gonna keep running errands after you poop yourself? Go home with your shame and clean up.
  • POODLE DOODLE DON’T
So do you go to a normal hair stylist to have that done or do you need to visit one of those specialty dog groomers that make poodles all fancy?
  • ON LOCKDOWN
YOU LOCK IT UP!
  • CASHING OUT
Oh thong season, you were gone before we even had a chance to enjoy you. See you next year my friend…or at any Walmart. Bad choices are year round actually.
  • TIRE CHANGE
Got em’.
  • BAD DOG’S GUIDE
What’s the cartoon depiction of a creepy old horny dog?
  • FAST TRACK TO CANCER
Its not a Photoshop! Just she trying to put up with all someones bullshit.
  • MONKEY SPUNK
I never thought I’d say this to someone, but I hope that monkey jizzes on your neck.
  • HERE COMES THE BRIDE
That’s a long ass wedding aisle to walk down. Just saying.
  • FLESH COLORED TOP
Wowzers! I had to do like a quadruple take this! Did you have that tank custom colored to match your skin or something? Honestly, add a belly button and some nipples and it’s spot on.
  • A DULL ROAR
Jurassic World 8: Just Chris Pratt driving around this Toyota.
  • THE GOAT CARRIER
Honestly, I’ve been staring at this for like 20 minutes trying to think of a great caption, but I don’t think there is one out there that would do this picture of a damn goat in a baby carrier any justice. Sometimes a picture might be worth more than 1,000 words.
  • OPEN SESAME
I have a feeling these are going to be just like those big hanging door beads people use in lieu of a door…You’re about to be disappointed when you open up and see what’s on the other side.
  • REPPIN’ THE CRIB
Honestly, it’s about time that lame “baby on board” sign was updated.
  • PUT A FEATHER IN HIS CAP
Ah yes, the infamous Yankee Doodle Dandy.
  • ROLLING BACK DIGNITY
Listen to your own advice and keep rolling back until you’re out of my sight!!
  • SPIDER BITES
Maybe he got bit by one of those radioactive cross-dressing spiders?
  • TESTFORFLU
I’ve got a fever. And the only cure, is more cowbell.
  • THE LITE LIFE
Way to stay committed. We can call you like A LOT of different names, but a hypocrite isn’t one of them.
  • THE NUT BUSTER
Guys. Please do not be as stupid as I assume you’re going to be and put your nuts anywhere near her!
  • IT’S NOT A TUMOR
I know I’m not a mechanic, but pretty sure that doesn’t belong anywhere on a vehicle, let alone there.
  • COWBOY CARL
Who’s trying to buck this bronco?
  • RED ‘TIL I’M DEAD
He might be the only person to age out and retire from a gang. Not sure what their pension is like, it’s never been done before.
  • THE WEED BRIDE
Here comes the bride, still getting high.
  • BAG IT
THis is the LAST one..I’ve had a few flings in my past that I had to do this for. I’m not a proud man.


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