The weekends marks the start of the holiday sprint, gatherings with friends and family, involving copious amounts of food, booze, and the mixed warmth and tension of togetherness.
we now live in the our-future, the gatherings will inevitably involve our technology toys like smartphones, tablets, gameplay consoles. Now it won’t be your drunk uncle ruining Thanksgiving when breaking glasses on the dining table, it’ll be your friends ruining the day by everyone playing their favorites music or videos on their smartphone or maybe your home geeks drunkenly flying a drone into the head of the grandfather outside.
Insist that no one touch anything on the table until you’ve ‘gram it from all possible angles. Food gets cold before anyone can eat it. You get the cold shoulder for the rest of the day.
Bring your A.I. friend to dinner. Ask Siri 15 different versions of “What are you thankful for?” Next, give the phone to your three-year-old nephew who spends two hours annoyingly interrogating Siri, then drops your new iPhone 6S in the gravy.
Insta-complain. Keep an eye on Instagram all day and constantly let everyone know how your dinner compares unfavorably to other people’s Thanksgiving meals. Your family doesn’t care that mashed potatoes look better with a sprig of rosemary.
Outsource the turkey to robots. Plan to impress family by 3D-printing the entire meal. The Kickstarter you funded for the printer is delayed in production. Probably forever. You have no backup plan
Sad Skypesgiving. Set a place at the table for your brother who lives in a foreign country and Skype him into the meal via iPad. Make him watch you all eat your five-course spread while he eats a frozen turkey dinner.
Overshare. Complain on Twitter after your flight gets delayed that you don’t really want to go home for the holiday. Fail to realize your dad& mom follows you on Twitter until they tweet back.
Aggro Livestream. Refuse to make a dish but then Periscope the cooking process, insisting family members narrate what part of the Thanksgiving meal they were responsible for.
A horrible new tradition. Make everyone recount one thing they’re thankful for and one thing they regret from the past year. Document it in a Facebook post that tags everyone mentioned.
Make it a “Hacksgiving.” Make tea after dinner with your connected kettle. It turns out that your fancy kettle was hacked. Your WiFi network has been compromised. Everybody freaks out when the hackers e-mail your parents your private photos with your love.
Phoneless silence. Try a fun experiment that you read on web online about it and make everyone check their phone at the door. Enjoy the entire meal in very awkward silence.
Phub up. Explain phubbing to your parents. They then realize that you haven’t actually paid attention to anything they’ve said since 2015.
Get a little too Snap-y. Snapchat Story your entire meal. Using the Scatman voice.
Commit a Doodle don’t. Invite people via Doodle. Launch into a heated pre-holiday family argument over what time to dine.
Pie-lot fails. Fly new drone into Mom’s pies. Ruin dessert.
But now seriously guys, in your home don’t stare at your phone or another smart new technology device all day on Thanksgiving. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!